Gearing Up For the New Year Series: Setting Boundaries

With the semester beginning on Monday, August 28, the campus is busy preparing on all levels to welcome new and returning students home. To help our newest students gear up for the new year, Charis Ochu, a junior biology major, shares tips and advice from her experiences as a student and RA.

Charis Ochu is active across campus. She is an RA, a member of the chapel band, and an officer for the International Student Fellowship.

The idea of meeting new people, making friends, and socializing on campus is exciting; however, setting boundaries is crucial to ensuring these relationships remain healthy. Here are some tips on ways to set boundaries in different types of relationships: 

Setting boundaries with roommates: Communicate your expectations and needs clearly and in a respectful manner. If your roommates are unaware of your preferences or boundaries, they will not know how to respect them. To avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, establish some room rules. A common issue is roommates having their friends over at a time that may be inconvenient to you. This can be prevented by discussing if visitors are allowed into your room at all or by setting specific visitation times.  

Setting boundaries with close friends: I cannot overemphasize the importance of being open and honest with your close friends. If something they do bothers you, let them know in a gentle manner. Setting these boundaries can be challenging, but it is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. Communicate your feelings to your friends and listen to them as well to make sure everyone’s boundaries are respected. 

Setting boundaries with professors or authority figures on campus: When communicating your feelings to an authority figure on campus, be assertive in a respectful and professional manner. You have the right to express your opinions while remaining open to their perspective. Educate yourself on your rights and responsibilities on campus. If you feel that certain rights are being denied, speak up. The goal of setting boundaries is to ensure that you feel safe and respected.  

Setting boundaries while navigating romantic relationships in college: Set your priorities. For example, in a long-distance relationship, would your priority be visiting your partner often or getting plugged in on campus? Discuss your priorities with your partner, and if your priorities seem to clash, this would be a good time to rethink the relationship. 

Essentially, communication is key when navigating through relationships in college. If you do not let people know how you feel, then you cannot expect them to be aware of your boundaries and respect them.